Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
