i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
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Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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