So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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