i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
