is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
