Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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