Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
