I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
