how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
