My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
