I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
