am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
