i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
PANTIES FOUND
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