new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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