hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
