PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
