It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
