I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
