What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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