Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
