areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
