Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Even my vagina gasped.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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