i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
