Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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