this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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