You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
