You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
