The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
