Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
