Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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