Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
