It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
