you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
