3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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