It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
