@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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