Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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