i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
