Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize