Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
