Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
