I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
