Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
