I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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