It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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