Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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