Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
