yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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