Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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