She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
