I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
